Writing for me is a heptagon-sided lightsabre. When I’m writing it feels like I’m Jean-Luc Picard sat in his ready room, listening to Les Troyens by Hector Berlioz while sipping a cup of Earl Grey tea; hot. It’s all beautiful harmony. It feels like this is what I am supposed to be doing.
Getting me to that point, yeah, well that’s like a ludicrous force bouncing off a jellified object. I will come up with any excuse, waste any time on anything rather than write. Oh, I’ll just check my emails (the ones I checked 5 minutes ago) I’ll just run a virus check (Why? Why now?), send a tweet, make a coffee, go to the toilet, paint my nails (what?); ANYTHING BUT WRITE! Then I’ll finally settle down and...SQURREL! *runs off*
I need Kathy Bates to reprise her role in Misery for me.
“You write that cock-a-doodie story mister, or Annie will bring out the ankle hobblers!”
Yes Annie, thank-you Annie.
When I do actually get started it becomes so easy. Instantly I’m Jean-Luc, back in the command of the Enterprise and the ship is running so smoothly. Seven-of-Nine is there as well and she looks hot! But I digress.
I then ask myself, why? Why do I make everything so difficult?
The thing is I know the answer, I know why. It’s the voices and the fear. The voices tell me not to try, they say I’m deluding myself and I have no talent. They insist I’m just wasting time and everyone is laughing at my feeble efforts; while the fear just listens. I’m afraid of failing, afraid of succeeding and everything in-between. It seems easier to just not try.
They are the same voices telling me not to write this blog.
But do you know what? Every time I write, every time I enter a competition, every time I produce a film, the voices grow more distant and the fear lessens. This is one of the reasons the Create 50 initiative is such a fantastic concept; it encourages creativity. It encouraged me to write a few scripts for The Impact. Two pages isn’t going to take a huge amount of time, there’s 50 slots available; why not?
Then there’s the feedback. It’s all genuine. It’s all by people who are just trying to get involved in something they are passionate about. They want each entry to be in the best shape it can be, they want everyone to have the best chance they can. That’s truly remarkable.
Furthermore there’s the Twisted 50. I’d given up writing short stories years ago. Twisted encouraged me to dust off my prose skills and give it a go. I enjoyed writing NO TITLE so much I’ve dug out all my old notes and decided to give the novel I always wanted to write a genuine shot. This surprised me so much I imploded on the spot! Luckily I got better.
Whatever happens in this competition, I’ll be truly grateful. I’m grateful for the opportunity, grateful for the community support and I’m grateful for the encouragement. I’m grateful this initiative has helped me keep the voices at bay once more and the fears just under the surface.
If you are anything like I was, if all your work is hidden on your PC never to see the light of day (except to a few trusted family members and invisible giant rabbits) because you let the voices win, well, why not give this one a try? Write a short script, a short story, write some music, make a film, review other people’s work, offer good constructive feedback and keep an open mind about the feedback you receive. Really, what have you got to lose?